Red Tape Run Around

Before I start my rant of the inadequacies of California’s Department of Motor Vehicle Licensing, I give a word of caution.

If you are,
a sympathizer of California DMV,
love wasting time in long lines,
enjoy the incompetence of government officials,
think the expression "red tape" is referring to presents or
a severe phlegmatic,

then maybe you should skip this week’s blog. With that disclaimer out of the way, I shall proceed.

Carl and I knew as soon as we arrived in California that there would be many things we would need to do in order to register our vehicle and get a Driver’s License. We had no idea what strife we would endure in order achieve those things.

It all started on September 10th when Carl made Driver’s Test appointments for us. See, in CA you need to have a license in order to insure your vehicle, which you must do within 21 days of entering the state. We were welcome to register our van the day we arrived in Fresno, but then our Manitoba registration would cease, along with our insurance. That wouldn’t be a very smart thing to do, considering Fresno drivers are first cousins to Winnipeg drivers. First comes the license with DMV, then the insurance with a private company, then registration and California plates.

We had scheduled appointments on September 13th and the 14th. Carl made a number of phone calls before our appointments to make sure we had all the right papers. We were told by the DMV agent that we would first have to do a written test and then after that we would have to do a road test. On Thursday, we arrived at the DMV office for Carl’s written test. He had also brought my papers in case I could just stand in line and do the test without waiting for my appointment the next day. Once Carl’s number was called, he stood at a counter and spoke for a long time with the agent. After about 15 minutes he came back and said that he couldn’t do the test without first going to the Social Security’s Office. What?! Apparently, DMV can’t start the process of issuing a Driver’s license until they have your Social Security Number. Carl tried to explain to her that as a student who is not eligible to work, he does not qualify for the S.S. number. “Yes”, he was told, “We understand that, but we still need S.S. office to verify that”. ARG!

So off we go down to Shaw & West Ave. to wait at the S.S. office. There was a screaming baby and the lady across the room was loudly complaining about the wait in the hot stuffy room, and I was getting more and more annoyed. After 90 long minutes, we finally get called up to the counter. Carl explained the situation, and the lady said of course we aren’t eligible for a S.S. number and proceeded to fill out a denial form for Carl. He reaches into his bag to pull out my papers and that’s when we realize that he picked up Kezia’s paperwork and passport instead of mine. I was so frustrated that I stormed out of the office. And it was only noon.

We drove home in suffocating silence. Once there, I picked up my paper work and headed to another S.S. office. When I arrived, my diaper bag was searched for possible weapons and then I was escorted to the counter. I explained my situation and the clerk told me that they don’t write out denial forms anymore. I raised my eyebrows and said that my husband just had one written an hour ago at another office and that I need some verification for DMV. She said, "Well, I’ll put in your name and I’ll have an agent speak to you". And so I sat down and waited, and waited….and waited.

After what seemed like forever, I was called up to speak to a S.S. agent. I repeated my situation once again and then she told me the bad news. She informed me that the S.S. office does not give out denial letters and that my husband should not have received one today. I should not have been sent here and that I don’t need a S.S. number in order to start the process of getting a Driver’s license. All of these changes have come into effect about 3 years ago due to a policy change in the DMV office.

(this is where the rant comes in)

So you mean to tell me that the lady at the DMV office sent us here for nothing? That she was unaware her department has a policy that says S.S. isn’t supposed to be involved anymore? You mean to tell me that because of some dumb woman I wasted 4 hours of my day and I have nothing to show for it?! I can’t believe this crazy state? Are they all stupid here? I hate this place! I’m going back to Canada!!

I got home and Carl stood very still, not knowing if my frustration and anger would come spilling out onto him. I made him aware of my new found knowledge (plus now I know how to get to the airport, bonus! But that’s besides the point…) and directed my rage towards the ignorant DMV lady. I made 2 phone calls to clarify a few things and got even more confused. Each person that I talked to gave me a conflicting story – yes, you would need to surrender your MB license, no you wouldn’t have to you only have to show it to us – yes, you do need to make an appointment to do your road test - no, you can only make the appointment after you pass your written. This only angered me more. Boy would I give it to them tomorrow.

The next morning I went in to the DMV office with my game face on. After a short wait I got up to the counter and slammed my paper work onto the ledge. The lady looked at me after I curtly explained my situation (I've lost count how many times I've done this). And she responded, “Oh…yes, I remember you. I think I spoke to your husband yesterday”. I tried to contain myself as my blood boiled with rage. Keep your cool Kathy, people get arrested for losing it in government offices. I counted to 20 and then calmly announced to her it was a shame that DMV employed such incompetent people that aren’t even aware of their own policies. And I also told her three times that because of her, we wasted many hours of our day. Of course she responded the way I was expecting, with a blank stare and a slack jaw. They must have affirmative action initiatives for inbreds here in California.

I then proceeded to another counter to have my picture taken. I didn’t smile for the camera at all. Then I made my way into a little room for my written test. After I was finished, I took it to a lady with the gaudiest nails I have ever seen to have it corrected. Of course I passed, but it only improved my mood slightly. I still had to do the road test. I asked the lady when I could make my next appointment. She looked at me and said, “No, this is it. You don’t have to do a road test. It says here on your file that you are a previous driver. So you’ll get your driver’s license in the mail in 2 weeks. In the meantime, here’s a paper copy, and you have yourself a nice day”.

Are you kidding me? A nice day? I think they owe us more than that!!