The Great Mom Escape

This weekend I had the privilege of going on a Mom's retreat that was hosted by our church. It was the first Mom's retreat that I've ever gone on. In fact, I don't think I've even attended a ladies retreat. I was pretty excited about going with Asha, but I was feeling a bit bad for Carl because he had come down with a pretty nasty cold and would be home alone with Joel and Kezia. Well, I knew he'd be fine and that the kids would take care of him, or at least not fight so much knowing that their Dad was ill.

On Friday after our ministry discernment meeting I packed up the last bit of my things and waited for my ride. I was amazed at the amount of stuff Asha needed. She took up most of the large suitcase with all of her necessities! Joel and Kezia hugged and kissed me profusely over and over and told me that they would miss me SO much. That was pretty special. I rode up with Shauna, Mika, and Noelia. We stopped at Starbucks to meet up with the other vans and I got a vanilla bean frapuccino. Not really a great idea....

The hour drive to Shaver Lake is beautiful, but the road was very curvy as we ascended up the hills. After 30 minutes, we had to ask Shauna to pull over; the three of us weren't feeling very good and I could feel that frapuccino sloshing in my stomach, and then my throat. Thankfully I didn't throw up, but I discovered that I do in fact get car sick. Sigh, I guess it comes with getting older......

We arrived at the cabin by about 6:30 and there was pizza and veggies waiting for us. In total there were 20 ladies present, and I was the only one who had brought a baby. All the ladies gave Asha lots of love and attention over the weekend, which allowed me to participate more fully in the activities.

On Friday night we watched a movie and ate popcorn, we had a Real Women, Real Issues talk on Saturday night, which ranged from the hilarious ultra-personal to serious issues. It was neat to hear everyone be so candid and frank. The food was amazing, and though there were TONS of snacks, I hardly ate any garbage. I was pleased with myself; food and I have a longstanding relationship! I really enjoyed the singing time and the Irish Prayer that was shown a number of times using powerpoint.

The one highlight of the weekend was the prayer labyrinth. I had never heard of such a thing, so I was curious how it would work. There were 11 stations that were set up downstairs and outside for us to walk through on Saturday morning. Each of us got an MP3 player to guide us through the labyrinth. I attempted to put Asha down for a nap before I started, but she had other plans, so I was only able to get through half of the labyrinth before lunch. The stations were, Inward Journey, Noise in our Life, Letting Go, Hurt, True Compass, Holy Space, Outward Living, For Self, Planet, For Others, and Impressions. At each station we listened to a segment on the MP3 and had a visual in front of us, either for us to look at or to participate in. The Letting Go station encouraged us to pick up a stone, imagine all of our hurts in that stone and then when we were ready, to drop it into a bucket. For many women, and for myself, that was the hardest station.

The station that was really powerful was the Noise in our Life because I realized that so often am I tired not because of the outward noise of life, but the voices in my heart that keep pounded in my head and distracting me from hearing God. I was also struck by the Impression station. The recording asked me questions as I sat like, "How many breaths make up a life?" and "What will history say about us when we are history too?" and "How does my present effect the future?". I also had the chance to light candles and pray for people.

After lunch, Asha finally went down for a nap and I finished the last few stations of the prayer labyrinth and had some time to journal. I hardly ever journal, but I think it is a positive thing that I will do more often. It'll be my time to write letters to God.

For our craft activity later that afternoon, we made stepping stones, and I knew right away what I wanted to do. I resisted my desire to make a perfectly symmetrical pattern and chose instead to do a circular pattern that would resemble a labyrinth.

I chose for it to represent my life, which during this weekend, became more clear to me.

First I started with the dark stones on the outer edge with red pieces of glass. The stones represent me and the pieces of glass represent the noise and distraction in my life. On the outer edge, the glass is more prominent and the stones are irregular shaped and dark. Then as the stones circle and move towards the centre, they become lighter and smoother, through circumstances that cause heat and friction in our life. The shards of glass become lighter, less noticeable, like the noise and the distractions of life become less. The stone in the centre of the labyrinth is clear, smooth and reflects the light that hits it; it represents my desire to be transparent, free from distraction and noise, to fully reflect Christ in my life.

The verse that I have been replaying in my head the last few months is Jeremiah 29:11 which says,

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

But during my Duet Time (me and God) I was led to read the entire chapter and found that verse 12 and 13 really spoke to me where I am at right now.

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart".

So I chose to put Jer. 29:13 on my stepping stone to remind me that this life I'm living is a winding path that is interspersed with distractions and noise, but as I move towards the centre, I become more Christ like. Some days I can identify and ignore the noise as I move towards the centre, other days I fall back towards the edge. But the prayer labyrinth I walked created the space for me to identify what is really going on in my life.

It was a very good weekend for me. I learned a lot about my relationship with God and I learned a lot about myself.