Real Fellowship

For the last few weeks at our homegroup, each couple has taken the evening to share their story and then afterwards, we all pray for that couple. This week, Carl and I were up to share our story and I was pretty nervous about it. I wanted to jot down a few things at home before we left, but I felt frazzled as I was trying to make the rice to bring for supper, change the baby and mediate between Joel and Kezia. We decided to bring our photo albums along so that as we shared out story, we could show the other families a bit of our life in Winnipeg. We left 30 min. late and that only made me more anxious, but thankfully when we arrived, we saw that everyone else had come later too.

The meal was great but I wanted to linger at the table. Kevin and Rhonda set up the video camera (so that those that are absent can still hear our story) and Carl and I sat down. I started first and briefly told my history and my faith journey. I wanted to tell the group about the things that I was passionate about and things that I struggled with. Afterwards there were lots of questions and it was easier to answer them since I had already opened up. Then it was Carl’s turn to share. He hadn’t brought anything written down like I had, but he shared from the heart.

It’s pretty exhausting to reveal yourself to people that you have just met a few months ago. But I must say that there’s also a sense of relief because finally you can expose the real you. No more small talk, no assumptions about where you come from. Because when you share openly, it’s all out there and there’s nothing left to hide.

After we spoke, we sat down on the floor and the group gathered around to pray for us. We asked for prayer for next semester when Carl will be heavy into his studies. We asked for prayer for next year and what we should be doing. We also asked prayer for the ability to be real, to put down our masks, and not have to live up to anyone’s expectations.

I thought sharing was exhausting, but prayer can be even more emotionally draining. It’s an amazing place to be, where Christians are gathered to intercede and the Holy Spirit is speaking and ministering. You’re never guaranteed on the answers when you pray for guidance and that’s kind of scary. People prayed as they felt led and spoke insight into our lives. I have to admit that when I came to Fresno, I had my ideas of our future and life all nice and neat in a box. And I also had my impression of how God would speak into my life and how he would show me who I really am. As people prayed I could see my neatly wrapped ideas dissipating. Darn it! And Carl finally had a place to release the burden of peoples’ expectations and to be given the freedom to show emotion, even the not-so-nice emotions.

So we dried our tears and stood up, embraced by friends that we had entered into a new level with. We knew as we shared this evening, we had invited people into our lives and invited them to pray on our behalf. We also went home with a new understanding of how God relates to us and guides us.